A Dog Named Sophie

Okay, so almost all the pictures are blurry. But that's not completely my fault because Chlamydia's and Soap's photos are just as blurry as the ones I took. There are actually a few really clear pictures though, so it's not my phone's fault! It's all human error. Just not mine.

Jesuit, I hope you had fun in Canada.

Well I've told you all by now, I'm sure, but the Iranian is in 12th grade which means next year doesn't really hold the possibilities I'd been hoping for. Then again, Soap doesn't even think he's good looking. She's wrong. But Whatever.

I realize that this may not be the best forum for the subject, but unless you are all informed at the same time in the same way I'm not sure any of you will do anything about it (although maybe that would've been a good thing?). Anyways, I think it's pretty safe to say that all three of you are justifiably mad/annoyed with each other to some degree. Personally, I'd rather not see you guys sit and stew over it. So maybe it's about time that it got talked out?

There isn't actually a dog named Sophie, but it's an excellent name for a pet, I think. Definitely want a Shiba inu.

Living in Eternal Sunshine

This week has been chaos--the reason I haven't posted. I'm sure it's been the same for all of us, though. I scraped by in all my classes and managed to keep the same grades I had the week before, which is good enough for me(unless I bombed the small quiz in Biology--which I doubt).

This whole month has been weird, though, in the way that I haven't really spoken to anyone that much. I did a little, but it was more "yeah, how's your day?"... "Hm, hm, it was fine." I feel like everyone has been in there own little bubble and my bubble has just been lightly bouncing around. It's been frustrating, but hopefully now that finals over it will go away.

In film we are finally getting down to testing, which means I get the first part of my final project assigned Tuesday. Also, I've decided to do my final project by myself (which I told all of you already). I still have to come up with my plot and write my script/do my story board, but after that I will give you all the details. I'm mainly having trouble deciding on something because there are so many options, but has to be around five minutes (not much time at all). So, that's mainly what I've been thinking about this week--I'm aiming for beyond excellent.

Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind

I watched Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless mind this morning (for a class project). I enjoyed it, but it was also sad. It was one of those films that made me think. It's about a couple who have their past together erased from their memory--it mainly focuses around the man as he flips past through his memories and realizes he doesn't want to let go. I've decided that I never really want to forget anything--I'd rather have a spotty mind. You should definitely watch it.

The Notebook

Also, I'm very excited to see Dear John. It's from the same director as Cider House Rules and Chocolat. It also is based on a novel by Nicholas Sparks who also co-wrote the screenplay. Meaning that it is from the same writer as The Notebook (and some other good movies, but not as good as The Notebook). It should be utterly fantastic, judging by this. Plus, it looks like a complete chick flick, which are my movie weaknesses.
Hopefully I will see you all tomorrow.
Loves,
S

It Doesn't Matter, Baby

Want.
Anyways--long time no see, y'all. Life has been busy. And by busy I mean "worst week since high school started."

And by worst I mean bad.

And by bad I mean Tom didn't break up with me, but that is pretty much the only other thing that could have gone wrong.

Basically, I woke up one morning and my grades were A, A, A, (hold your horses, it gets worse) A, B, B, C. Freaking out, crying, stress stress stress, finals, and arguments with teachers ensued. I believe I now have two Bs and the rest are As, but I kinda am hating life right now. God, I remember when I was such a good student--but my social life has sort of murdered my academic life, and it's showing.

Ah, but it doesn't matter in the long run, right? (Just agree with me here, it's what I'm telling myself to make myself calm down)


My resolution for the new semester? Less cell phone, more studying. Alicia has a good policy of not touching the computer or phone until after 7pm. I think I may just adopt this.

Oh, but how about hip-hop dance lessons with Alicia and Bella? Thanks for asking: it's going really well. I absolutely love dance. It makes me feel so pretty and god, I love it so much. After the 12 weeks is up, I'm going to keep doing it. I don't care, I know you're laughing at me...but really, even if I'm the weakest dancer in the class, just getting in that mindset and losing myself to the music...can't use words :)

I would like to think I look like the lovely lady on the right...but alas...

Oh, and cause I'm sure you're just so enthralled, listen to the song we learned to dance to!

Yoga's up next on my list of things to learn how to do!

I also made a funny discovery the other day. My favorite animal is the moose, and my favorite food is the muffin. Do y'all remember that book If You Give a Moose a Muffin? It was kinda cool realizing my entire life is based on childrens' book.

What else...Oh yes!

Look what I got in the mail! My very own passport! Have passport, will travel--and speaking of travel, I am tinitively tagging along with my dad on Saturday when he goes to Vancouver (my favorite city in the whole wide world). But guys, to you realize what the possesion of a passport MEANS? It means I can travel. I need to renew it in 10 years, when I'm 26...oh, just think of the places I'll have gone by then! Some I hope I've covered:
-India
-China
-Peru
-Argentina
-Spain
-Portugal
-Brazil
-Ecuador
-England
-France
-South Africa
-Russia

Oh, the places I'll go (if all goes according to plan...)!

The last news I have to report: HAIRCUT!

I lost a good six (SIX) inches. My hair is no longer the longest in my classes, and I miss that. Oh well. It's nice and smooth and straight at the ends, which is nice. But I can't wait for it to get long again! (and ew about the picture, I know, I'm so gross looking xP )

Let's see some posts from S, yeah? That'd be nice
.

For the Gold

They swallowed it whole, they went for the gold.

We fall for the same lies, we all have the same shoes to fit.

The preachers and books of your empire will fight here alone,

someday they will be forgotten and die one by one.

Fanfarlo, The Walls are Coming Down

Today, the first day of the new semester, started with a knot in my back.

I only had one class change, from taking Health to British Lit.

Ms. Wolverine* teaches Brit Lit, which is actually a class for Seniors. I am not a Senior, so even though the class is small I don't know anyone in it personally besides Adelaide, the one other Junior girl who's in it with me. There are Seniors I recognize (Large Fringe Kid is in there, as is one girl from my Health class, and JG's older sister). It's a student-run class, so we voted on what books to read and turned in our ballots, so I'll know what we're reading, hopefully, tomorrow. We each have to lead a discussion/activity two days out of the semester and we're probably going to take a field trip to Seattle to see a play.

Dubliners was a choice on the ballot (one guy seriously said "I'm voting for it! I LOVE JAMES JOYCE!"), and I briefly considered it when I had one vote left and couldn't decide what else to vote for (we got five votes). I thought maybe since J and S had already read it they might be some help to me, but in the end I used that vote for Alice in Wonderland because it was obviously going to be one that everyone else voted for, so there was no use in resisting it (I, unlike many children, didn't read it when I was little and at this point the prospect of reading it really creeps me out after seeing the movies). I really hope we end up reading A Picture of Dorian Gray and Waiting for Godot because those were my top two picks - I also voted for A Comedy of Errors and Taming of the Shrew. I weighed Hamlet as an option, but I'll have to read that next year in AP Composition and Literature, so while it might be helpful to already understand it when I'm in that... I don't really want to read it twice if I can help it.

With this class, I've set the goal for myself to try to make friends in it. I'm not exceptionally good at that anyway, but it's probably going to be worse in this class just because everyone is older than me. I'm already friends with Adelaide and she's in the same boat as me, although her side of the boat is a bit more outgoing...

I feel like I'm always looking towards the future these days: I found a new college I like this weekend and next week we're signing up for next years' classes. Plus, it's this time of year when I start to dream about summer like it's just around the corner already. I want to buy film for my camera, I want to get sundresses and shorts and have the freedom to do what I want every day, and I'm so looking forward to writing camp this year.

It's like I can't live right here, right now.

I blame it on the fact that the school I found has the option of being a student teacher abroad, which really puts my whole dream-life that much closer to me.

Worst thing about today: one boy in my Chem class saw Phoenix on Saturday. And I don't mean the real concert, I mean the KEXP acoustic set at the Triple Door. How come stuff like that doesn't happen to me?

*Pretty much Best Changed Name Ever?

Good days ahead?

Seriously. What a long week. Done with icons!

At least I have art 2nd period now. the bummer thing is that I got Child Psych 2 instead of Film Analysis, so I'm stuck with another really annoying elective. Also, it's during 4th period so they bumped me from C's and my chem class into 3rd period chem and put me in 5th period history (with C, though). Although honestly, I would rather be in chem with C than History. History is super easy. Chem is moderately challenging. Ugh. Plus, it appears that C will continue in second lunch and I will be moved to first lunch :( bummer.

I've just read the course description for Child Psych 2 and it appears that we're supposed to go to a nearby elementary school and do projects with kids. I hate kids. I hate dealing with our lousy school counselors more, however, so I will suffer through the class. (Oh, and I got a 154 out of 155 on my baby book!)

No more Iranian! Maybe there will be cute people in my new classes? I doubt it. Though apparently mysterious kid is in my new chem class. I don't think much of him. He eats ketchup on rice.

Today some of my friends asked me to tolo, and they did it with a scavenger hunt. First, they sent this one kid (literally dressed as a hyppogriff) to my (and a few other guys') first final study periods and he gave us "marauder's maps" of the schools telling us to pick up horcruxes at each classroom, then we went to the math analysis room and a teacher dressed as Voldemort gave us a spiel about how he was going to destroy us, then our friends burst out of the cabinet in the room holding a tolo sign. It was pretty impressive.

Finals are over and C and I pretty much have no hw (she has a little more than me). We should do stuff this weekend! Me and C want to get together and watch Harold and Maude at her house.

Oh, and the AP English final sucked.

Skywhale (for Lack of a Better Title)

So you guys, I've made a decision.

I'm gunna live in a castle.

Anyways.

My weekend was pretty boring. I didn't do homework for most (any) of it, so now I'm in "do-your-homework" mode, which isn't so much fun. Alas. I saw Tom on Friday though (I wish I could have seen him yesterday and today, too!) and spent Saturday hanging out with Bella, buying belly-dancing gear (a career I hope to launch into, after my 12 weeks of hip-hop/jazz is up, heehee).

I'm also supposed to have an article on girl's basketball ready for my editors of newspaper tomorrow which SO isn't going to happen as I called every single girl on the basketball team and not one picked up, haha.

The next few months are gunna be pretty intense. In February, my padre is heading up to Canada to work at the Olympics--and as I am now a proud passport-owner (heehee, that's a funny story, did I ever tell you? Where Tom got dragged along with us? Heehee) I get to go, too!

The idea of spending time at the Olympics really seriously makes me excited. A global event, where the nations get together to play games? How cool is that?

Then, in March, I'm going to visit colleges! I'm most excited to head to the Last Frontier. My father was so upset, he was like "you aren't seriously considering going to Alaska for college, are you?" Because I'm smart (kinda) and the schools up there aren't exactly the Ivy-League stuff he wants me to aim for. But I looooooove Alaska, like if I had to pick a place to live for four years, that would be it. Plus, when it comes to languages (which I want to major in--in part) they know what they're doing.

Otherwise, ciao West Coast, I'm going to school back east.

OH, and the BIG NEWS of the day: I think I may, for once, actually know what I want to do with my life. Which is pretty awesome. Cause it feels so right when I think about it. And it makes me happy. But I don't want to say...just yet.

One last thing:


(oops, the actual last word: who else is LOVING Contra?)

all pictures from bear

The Opposite of Hallelujah

But sister, it's the opposite of hallelujah

it's the opposite of being you

you don't know cause it just

passes right through you

Jens Lekman, The Opposite of Hallelujah

December 17, 2003 - January 15, 2010

In other news:

Today I visited Evergreen State College. I guess it's the only college I like at all in-state, but I would prefer to never step foot on campus again... That's the short of it, really. I don't really like that they only allow one class at a time (AKA, one class per year) unless your "main" class is less than the "full credit" requirement of a "full class" (16 credits, less than that would be 12 credits), because then you can take another 4 credit class on the weekend only. What?? I don't think that will really help me with what I want to do. Evergreen is compared to Hampshire a lot, but I didn't really see any similarities beyond the fact that they both use evaluations instead of grades. Other than that? Nothing. I saw one girl there from writing camp (which I got an email about today - I think maybe I'm the only one who applied Early Admission, because I've already been accepted) and also a guy from school. I wish I hadn't, actually, because it looked like I had been crying for about twenty years.

I heard the Jens Lekman song above in the car yesterday on the way to Trader Joe's, after I heard the bad news. It was meant as a trip to take my mind off things (you can't really cry in a grocery store, it's pretty much frowned upon by society). I can't stop listening to it because it's really good... Guess it'll always remind me of this, huh? I hate that. It was nice to hear it yesterday, though, instead of the usual "I have no idea what this is" KEXP playlist. I'd never heard the song before, but I knew it was Jens Lekman. Cheered me up a little bit, I suppose you could say. Would have been better to hear Phoenix or Throw Me the Statue, but you take what you can get.

I also watched a good Doctor Who yesterday with Faith, and I watched Adam with my family. It was better than I thought it was going to be, and I thought it was going to be pretty good. It's a very cute film; next up on my To-Watch list are Bright Star, An Education, Whip It, and Coco Before Chanel.

P.S. "The Opposite of Hallelujah", should you choose to listen to it (which isn't a choice, really, it's a NEED), is actually free on Jens Lekman's website. I just found this out and wanted to share!

Walking around thinking the same again

To get to you I'll go down on my knees

Last night I swear it wouldn't be the same

Last night I swear it never was the same

Two is for a while, but then one has got to leave .

Phoenix, Lost and Found

Now Departing From Iran

New banner image update! Only one left to go.

Just got back from thrift shopping with Soaps a few hours ago. Majorly scored with two button ups and a cardigan!

Talked to my art teacher from last year and she pretty much confirmed that I'd be in her class next semester! So relieved about that. A ton of people seem to hate her, and I understand why, she can be a little controlling. But she's always really nice when I talk to her, so I have a hard time disliking her. Besides, much better to be in her class than in a class with the other art teacher who everyone loves but who hates me. Haha. I don't like him much either, I suppose.

Cannot wait until next semester. Finally going to be in art and film analysis, both classes are going to be a lot less work than the electives I'm in now. Though I'm a little sad about leaving the Iranian behind. Just two more class days with him, then probably never again.

Sigh.

Sleepwalking

I'm so tired today--having spent the last week typing math equations up on word. Not only is this incredibly boring, but it takes forever.

Last night, I went to bed at around 12:30 am and woke up an hour later-- completely sweaty. I got up, convinced it was morning, and went into the kitchen. I talked to my sister, but I felt that I was about to tumble to the floor. It was horrible. I was still halfway in my nightmare-- I felt that I had to align to clocks into some interlocking web. It had something to do with getting this important film shot, but I don't know why. I went as far as to get undressed, step into the shower, and put face wash on a washcloth before I stopped. I thought, "wait? why do I have to be up?" I went and asked my sister and she told me to go back to bed. I was sleepwalking and it was dreadful and, in the moment, slightly terrifying.

The nightmare went on all night.

I love looking at old pictures--they make me think about the past, but also the future. I couldn't comment on J and C's because my computer still won't let me, but you were both adorable. Here's mine:

Now, A needs to post one. When I was little I had a little imaginary friend named Duckie. When I was looking through the photo album to get my pictures I found a picture of Duckie's birthday party. One of my three dolls, Charlie, was attending in a high chair (my other two dolls were both named Mary). Duckie always sat in a high chair, too--although, I was the only one who knew he was there because he only talked to me. I think it's fascinating how little kids do things, like having an imaginary friend, they're so creative. I love listening to toddlers talk because they're always straight to the point and assume everyone will agree with them (usually). That, or they talk about something you don't understand because they just assume you'll catch on.
This weekend we have Monday off, which means that I'll actually have time to do something. I'll email you all, although I know J has plans with Tom and stuff.
I've been wanting to go to value village badly. I want some button up blouses and could use a few more pieces in general, so I may do that sometime this weekend.
To be honest, this week has been very dull- so dull that I haven't even had that many interesting thoughts. I was so busy I rarely even daydreamed (something with I do as often as breathing).

Oh, but I did watch Sunshine Cleaning. I really loved it-- it's about two sisters who clean up scenes of death. It was slightly morbid, but I thought it was very sweet and I loved the son in the movie, Oscar (although I think it was Oskar).

Loves,
S

The Tide Turns (Updated)

You glug and you glug,

salt water from sandcastle bucket.

You glug and you glug,

and the tide turns in your stomach,

splash your shoes.

You complain the tap-water runs solid white,

you dangle fishing lines for crabs

but they're not interested,

I'm your only bite.

Los Campesinos!, There Are Listed Buildings

Today is going to be my first day of Norwegian lessons. However, instead of getting their act together, the class is going to be at some stranger's house in Kenmore where I will be the only teenager for sure, alone and freaked out beyond repair. I really don't want to go.

And I would skip it, but you have to register on the first day. So I CAN'T skip it, or else I can't take the class at all, and it's a Christmas present and I want to learn Norwegian. A lot.

Tonight is also a big Stage Fright event, in Seattle of course, which I was going to try and convince my dad to take me to after Norwegian, even though I'd be very late... It's the party for the release of our anthology and I really wanted to be there.

But now, even if my dad had agreed to take me (which he didn't, despite the fact that no one on the Youth Guild will answer my emails and they'd all be there, where I can just talk to them) I would never make it in time for anything.

Needless to say, I'm hating this day very much.

I don't know what I'm going to do.

On the bright side, "There Are Listed Buildings" is free as the Song of the Day on KEXP. Check it out, as their new album comes out the 26th of this month (and Vampire Weekend's came out yesterday!).

UPDATE: Hollywood and General Knowledge dictate that there should have been a hot guy my age taking Norwegian. The closest was a ninth grade boy (AKA not close). I went and the teacher was nice and the class was small... I would have liked to go to Stage Fright to see my friends there, but I suppose they'll have to wait. I had been wanting to talk to Paul*, though.

*Changed name, see index.

Never Ever

except with "each other" spelled correctly, haha :)

It really, really freaked me out the other day. I was sitting in class and some girls were talking about college, and all the places they're going to go, all over the country and I realized that will be me next year. And it wasn't the prospect of going to college that scared me--it was the concept that I'll be in a different school, probably miles and miles away from my friends. From you guys. And by "you guys" I kinda mean my soul. Anyways.

School is going pretty well (I'd say "stressful" again, but then this blog might start to get redundant, huh?) Oh, and in case you haven't caught on, I am ridiculously enamored with Tom--I have a funny/cute/J-is-a-fool story to tell y'all too.

Confession time: so Tom and I have never hugged at school--or held hands, or kissed. And it's my fault. I have, like, this paranoia that happens at school. I get reallyreallyreally nervous around him, although when we're alone together outside of school I'm totally relaxed. I just am totally freaked out about PDA involving me (sure, everyone else can snog all they want).

So, we're walking together to class after lunch and there's the usual awkward hesitation where we should hug but I normally quickly shout BYE and run away but he grabs my hand and is like, "wait, hold on."

And I was like "Um?"

And Tom says, "Well, don't I get a hug?"

There it is, out in the open. He's acknowledged my epic romantic fail. And I grumble I suppose so and hug him, awkwardly. It was pretty embarrassing, we both started laughing. Of course, I was also sort of dying, like J, why do you have to be so awkward and bad at everything?

Tom and I. Guess who's who.

Other than that, I don't have a whole lot else to report. I'm reading a book about the Green River Killer which is exciting, and has made me terrified to drive at night. I guess that's news?

Oh, and as a closing remark...



I guess I've always been sassy :3

art from: here and here and my own family collection (in that order)

Tristesse/Joie

Tristesse, Joie

c'est comme ça...

Yelle, Tristesse/Joie

Today has been a day of rags to riches for me, I suppose you could say. A and I finished our flipping amazing Lab Final, which we have worked on very hard. It involved two fairly easy labs with no teacher assistance and two lab reports (I'm sure this is all passe for you IB students, or so I've heard) as well as a research question. We didn't turn it in on the 10% extra credit day, but hopefully we'll get a good grade as it is. I can now fully explain to you everything you never wanted to know about how Alka-Seltzer tablets work.

I have also added a recent comments feed to this blog which took me, pretty much, forever. I can not express to you how hard it was to make one. I literally must have made one about ten times before finally getting the one we have, which actually works. Third Party Sites! Who'd have thought? (Actually, I thought of it about five tries before one was good enough. So, me, I guess. I would think of it...)

Oh, happiness.

The Times, They are a Changin'

Don't worry, I'm very stressed. I've had the most homework this weekend than I've had in months (or at least it seems this way). On top of it, I have to still figure out colleges (since I need to visit them), I have to figure out CAS, and I have to figure out that extended Essay thing (I know I have some time, but it is a very big deal). I feel like curling up in a ball and crying when I think about it. It's all just so daunting. I feel as if someone has given me a humongous mountain with vertical sides and a peek so far in the clouds that you can't even see it and then told me to "get climbing."
Then comes the advice, and usually it does no good. Why? I don't believe school has ever been as difficult as it is now, so mostly it's like-- "Oh, when I was in High School I never had that much work and for college my books cost less than a hundred (in total), oh, and I just had to send in an application--not always even an essay." I'm sure school was difficult, but I also feel so much is expected of us and pushed on us that older generations don't fully get it.
Have you ever gotten the talk where an adult tells you that we are the biggest generation yet, but also the first generation who will probably do worse than their parents. Sorry, but this really doesn't offer any condolences.
I'm sorry, it's just I'm completely exhausted. I feel that I should be doing so much more--my list of extra curriculars isn't very full at all. Where do others get the time? Maybe it's me putting all the pressure on myself, but I really don't think that's completely it. In reality I have to pressure on myself to keep up. I mean, college certainly isn't free and I'm the one who will be bearing the weight of tuition. How much is currently in my bank account? around 250. Not even enough for books.
Anyway, that is too depressing, and I feel like shoving it back into the closet. J, I thought you where never stressed so I don't always talk to you about it. Plus, you're so qualified and creative, to be honest, it really intimidates me.
On brighter news, my uncle came over today and showed me pictures of his trips. He volunteers to help bring labs in developing countries up to the standards set by organizations--he's a microbiologist. Recently, he's been traveling allot in India and a bit of Africa. He also showed us pictures from his vacation to Germany, Czech Republic, and Denmark(it's supposed to be one of the happiest places to live). I would very much like to visit Denmark and India. The places he visited in Africa looked very pretty, but very rural. He was working in allot of facilities that helped mainly mothers. I think that what he's working on is fantastic. In the future, I would love the opportunity to volunteer in a clinic in either Africa or India. Unfortunately where he went in Africa (Sierra Leone) has lots of monkeys. Monkeys are really the only animals that give me the creeps. They're so human-like and intelligent, which would be fine if they didn't scream and bare their huge teeth.

Copenhagen (picture off of:http://eurobuildings.info/wallpapers/denmark/copenhagen_w000.jpg)

Sierra Leone (picure off of:http://www.wwoofsl.org/img/wwoofSierraLeone.jpg)

Sorry, that was a very dry post.

Notes:

-Humboldt County just was hit by a 6.5 earth quake.

-C, how was your Norwegian class on Wednesday night?

-Starting Iranian classes next Thursday so A and I can get to know that kid better.

-A's new side bars are brilliant.

Loves, Sophie

Quixote Amadeus

I made a couple new icon things, in case you guys hadn't noticed. Soap's and Jesuit's are done, so two more to go!

Just feeling totally burned out from school. Way too many projects and tests and requirements to do before finals. But I thought I'd give and update on the middle east and the status of my child.

So I ended up getting a boy. Of course. Pretty much every person in the class got the opposite of what they wanted.But really, if I had gotten a girl I wouldn't have actually named her Gyna. I probably would have gone with Calliope or something. But no such luck, I got a boy. Anyway, I named him Quixote (middle name is Amadeus). Isn't that great though? There's even some alliteration with my last name. And that's just the height of cool, yeah?
But his baby book is coming along fabulously. Caboose and attest to the fact that it's just plain the best baby book ever made by an 11th grader. It's covered in alligators and all hand made! So of course it's the best. I know Sop will probably try to make her own baby book when she gives birth (she's so competitive) but it won't be as good as mine ('cause she ain't got no in with the alligators). Just saying.

The Iranian defo wants to be friends. Not sure I really want to deal with it. HE CAN'T SPEAK ENGLISH. Not exactly a primo situation. But also soon the semester will change and we'll never see eachother.
But maybe next year we'll have classes again and he'll have spontaeneously learned english. Is that wishful thinking?

On My Mind

This is the last song

That I write

While still in love with you.

This is the last song

That I write

While you're even on my mind.

Cos it's time to leave

Those feelings behind,

Oh cos blue skies are calling,

But I know that it's hard.

Noah and the Whale, Blue Skies

I've found myself listening to this song a lot lately because I fancy myself someone able to relate to it. I write poetry a lot, about everything that's happening now and things that happened what should be a long time ago but still float at the surface like just yesterday...

I've tried to stop doing that, but I can't.

I've tried to get over a lot of things, but I can't.

They're still there, sitting behind my ears and whispering while I walk through the hallways of school and when I sit down in a classroom, when I'm going to bed or trying to remember something else that happened on a certain day.

Maybe that's what I resolve to do this new year, even though I wasn't planning on really making a resolution. Maybe I'll resolve to put stuff behind me.

And no, this isn't just about abnoxious encounters with boys, although I'd say those get the most journal-time - everything sticks with me. Slightly embarassing things I did three or four years ago are just as bad as things I did last week. They're that fresh in my mind.

I think this all stems from how much I pay attention to what other people say to me, how they look at me and react to things I say. I'm too much of an observer for my own good. Maybe that sounds a bit self-centered of me, but I'm me, so I figure I should know.

Huntingdon, PA (where my brother lives)

In other news, my math teacher thinks I'm an idiot. A can attest to the fact. I had forgotten to staple all of my work to an assignment (in fact, basically any of my work), but my teacher didn't come up and say "Hey, I think you fogot to hand in everything for this."

No. Who would assume that it was a mistake?

Of course I must just be an idiot.

So instead he says, "Okay, so you need to actually redo the problems shown so that they're correct and then write out an explanation of why they were wrong and everything."

I go, "Um, didn't I... do that?" Because I had.

I just hadn't stapled it all together.

So I had to turn it all in again, which is annoying because it's for my portfolio, so now I have to wait even longer to get the entire thing all over with, because I have to scan the entire thing... It's not hard to do, I just want it done. Madame hasn't even given us our in-class essays back that are supposed to be for the portfolio, and we wrote those back in October (no joke).

I'm starting to get sick whenever I get too stressed, so I wish sometimes that teachers would maybe take that into consideration more...

Mornings

I used to be a morning person, but now I'm really not. I despise the fact that I need sleep, and if I had my way would do away with it completely--it's a waist of time. I never really remember my dreams, except for the lurking feeling of what was going on and just little bits of what happened. I'm much more of a daydreamer.

Being on brake I've been staying up late and trying to get up at a decent time, but failing. For school I have to get up around 5:00-5:20 am, although I don't leave until 6:40 (if I'm on time this is when I should be getting out the door, but usually I end up running out at 6:50 and running to class). This basically means that it was pretty much impossible to get the seven hours of sleep that I strive for nightly (but never happens). I was all sleepy today, not the falling asleep sleepy, but stingy eyes sleepy.

Besides this minor set back, my day turned out to average. In history we took notes, math was horrid (like usual), in film class we got our presentations postponed due to general confusion and a very kind teacher, and in English class the group that was supposed to present on Dubliners by James Joyce wasn't ready we looked at poetry. The poem we were analyzing was Thirteen Ways of Looking at a Blackbird by Wallace Stevens. I really like my English class and, as always, we got to do something a little artsy to go along with it--sketch wood cuttings.

I thought the poem was about changes in time--how everything seems different at different moments throughout your life and how this has to be accepted (it also had a major theme of death, but I thought that was just wrapped with everything else). Anyway, my teacher showed us some wood cuts that are held at Microsoft's art gallery (who knew?) and told us a story about meeting the author and how he got a bit snappy with her--it was kind of funny, but only in context.

Also, I received a postcard from a friend who went to France over winter break--I love it.

Postcard

I've also been thinking about college--a thought that usually chills me with fear. Lately, though, I'm warming to the idea. Like C, High School isn't my favorite place and I'm beginning to relish the idea of being able to almost start fresh in a new place. Honestly, though, it still gives me butterflies to think about. Right now I'm considering Humboldt State (on the northern California's lost coast)...

The Lost Coast (from http://www.ekibo.com/LostCoast1.jpg)

Loves,
S

Cast of Characters

Alphabetical by name, blog member's names highlighted in their appropriate color

Adelaide: C's British Lit pal
Alec: J's friend, friends with Tom
Alicia: S's friend since, like, birth, who is now also friends with J, Evvy, and Bella.
Bella: J's friend and dance partner, obsessed with Twilight which is where her "name" comes from
Birdie: S's older sister's boyfriend's younger brother (did you get all that?). He's frickin' adorable (or at least J thinks so). Played Birdie in last year's production of Bye Bye Birdie.
Mr. Crow: C and A's AP English teacher.
Evvy: J and S's friend from their school
Faith: C's little sister, 14
The Iranian: a mysterious and modelesque non-English speaker from A's health class
Jules: a boy who J thought was The Bomb when she went to school with A and C and who she said some embarrassing things to
Mr. Kale: A' and C's Chemistry sub for the end of Junior Year
KK: The arch rival of C who stole C's project ideas for Mr. Crow. A.K.A. a bitch.
Large Fringe Kid (LFK): A boy at A and C's school
Mysterious Boy: A boy who goes to school with A and C who is very good looking, although A doesn't think so
Natalia: C's friend who went to school with her last year
Nicholas: A boy in C's writing group who shares a similar taste in music and clothes
Olive: C's awesome, magical, loveable, wonderful bird who we all miss very much
Paul: A boy in C's writing group who is quite fit (but smokes, which is a big thumbs down)
Tom: J's boyfriend
Welliam ("Well"): J's "real" brother, 15
Ms. Wolverine: C's Brit Lit teacher (also J's teacher when she went to school with A and C)

Paradise Circus

First day back in school--figure I've got to do a post like all the others, huh?

5:00am: woke up to my phone alarm ("Good Morning Good Morning" by my favorite, the Beatles). Sent a text to Alec* "I'M AWAKE SO YOU HAVE TO BE AWAKE TOO! FEEL MY PAIN!" and Tom* "Awww yeah. It's early in the morning, and you have school. Get excited...aka, good morning :)"

6:00am: Shoved my backpack, laptop and textbooks into my new, nice, fixed-up car Sam and headed off to school.

7:00am: Scolded Tom for keeping me up to the ungodly hour of 2am that morning (night?). We went our separate ways: him to PE and me to Chinese, where my teacher was 15 minutes late and we had to wait around outside her classroom in the dark, confused.

8:00am: Chatted with my Chinese teacher about the radically low temperatures in China right now.

9:00am: Listened to a presentation on "Eveline" from the book Dubliners by James Joyce. I alsolutely love the story, and I was glad to get a chance to talk about it as I was called on, and am too shy to raise my hand.

10:00am: Talked with my partner about the story we'll have to present in a few weeks, "A Mother." Secretly wanted to text Evvy* to find out what happened with her and Art Boy in first period.

11:00am: Fell asleep--or practically did--during Venn diagram stuff in math.

12:00pm: Stole Tom's phone--cause he stole mine!--and called him to be obnoxious during lunch.

1:00pm: Yo escribé un ensayo en español. No fue divertido.

2:00pm: Talked about story ideas in newspaper. It's gunna be a great issue!

3:00pm: Finally got out of school. But for all my complaining, it's fun. I mean, I get to see my friends, my boyfriend, and learn. I could do without the homework and unnecessary stress, however...

4:00pm: Went to the park with my brother Well to get pictures for Blackbird Fly. The theme was "It Won't Happen Tonight" and I had a lot of fun! Next time we'll have to go when it's lighter out, although I think the dusky blue shades worked for this shoot...

5:00pm: Felt sick, shivery and had a massive headache. Took my temperature--a disappointingly unexciting 98.3.

6:00pm: Listened to my new favorite song, Paradise Circus. I can't WAIT for the CD!

7:00pm: Was talked into taking hip-hop/jazz dance lessons. Or considering lessons--still have to run it by my dad.

*I changed names because I thought it would be creepy if someone was writing a blog and using MY real name in their posts. I'm going to make a "Cast of Characters" post with little descriptions so we can keep fake-names straight, and maybe throw a link over there --->

When I get around to it, that is.

Captured Here

All your compliments and your cutting remarks

Are captured here in my quotation marks.

Elvis Costello, Every Day I Write the Book

Here we see A's future, which is pretty strikingly true to life. Minus the guitar.

I called lil' S yesterday to thank her for the Christmas prezzie, but she had to get off the phone pretty quickly as she has a job and needs to make money to pay off her Huge Library Fee for keeping Cat Stevens albums out for far too long (such a disappointment - you might as well have just bought them all). This is what elle a donné à moi:

It fits together like that, but also comes apart into a magical teapot AND teacup!
AKA Double the Trouble!

So due to this present-y cheer, I thought I'd post this picture of what I got at Easy Street Records last week for S and... not for anyone else (besides myself, obviously, as it's hanging on my wall in this photo) ... Ahemm:

I really want that album!

And here is a lovely picture of me avec ma famille, pretending to be forest-dwellers at a park in-between posed shots for our living room wall.

A king and his Gyna...

I can appreciate the merchandise. Thanks Soap, haha. I got a tin lunch box with pictures of The King all over it from her, sweet right? Oh yeah.

So I spent all of yesterday working on my massive health projects, went to school today and was told I'm going on the 13th. Lame. And unlike Chlamydia, I actually had a pretty good day back at school. Got to see people and all that.

Plus, we're"having babies" in Child psych and we're making baby books. I really want a daughter because I want to name her Gyna (pronounces like the latter half of vagina). Ver excitement.
Call her lil jayjay for shortsies? Affirmative. Maybe my pregnant child psych teacher will be inspired and name her own baby after mine! What a world of possibilities.


The Good looking Iranian kid at our school (who wears hilariously absurd outfits) stares at Chlamydia and I every day as he walks past us for lunch. Being in school here and not speaking English must suck. He's in my health class and today we were watching the miracle of life video (full on vajayjay), he didn't have any idea what was going on. The look on his face? Priceless.

Never Quite the Same

And you've ended up in someone else's frame?
And their memory now is never quite the same
And they never even thought to ask your name.
Bishop Allen, Click Click Click Click

I feel like the break never happened. I put on my backpack this morning on my way out to the garage and when I leaned back in my seat my back already hurt.
School is not how it used to be... at all. I feel like there are so many other things I would rather be doing than spending so much of my time hunched over desks like my life depends on it when I couldn't possibly care less about what (2i + 5) - (3 - i) equals, as easy as that is. And I'm mad about it, to be honest.

Because I like to learn things.
If I didn't, I wouldn't spend my free time reading or writing or teaching myself the mandolin or asking my parents for Norwegian lessons (which start on Wednesday) or going into Seattle to meet with people about writing.
I don't know what I would do if I didn't like to learn. Maybe I would just watch Doctor Who all day:

It drips avec educational detail. Amazing!

What made today particularly annoying was that my math teacher said something along the lines of "don't take a class if you don't need the credits." THIS coming from someone who openly admits to not trying very hard at all when he was in school. Seriously? I don't care that sometimes he talks to us about how not everyone is meant to go to college - that's certainly true. But telling us not to take math next year, or English, is like saying "don't try" and that really bothers me.

I'm already in some classes where people don't try (HISTORY, I'm looking at you) - and that's without teachers supporting thier non-effort. (Okay, actually I would say that in History he doesn't expect that much, which is almost the same as supporting laziness. But whatever.)

If anything, I would like to be able to take more challenging classes (whether I needed the credits or not) and not be weighed down with pointless work. Even in AP Comp and Lang we get busy work (the majority of all projects) or work so vague that it's impossible to learn from it because you don't even know what you're doing (The Scarlet Letter project, holy cow). I took that class because I love English and I wanted it to be challenging, not challenging to understand.

It just bothers me sometimes.
That I have to come back from a break feeling like nothing's different: I'm still bent over, I'm still getting up before the sun, and I'm still lacking in free time or even enough time to get things done to how I want them. I should have done so much more work over the break. But I didn't. I couldn't stand it! I was sick the last week of school in December because I was so stressed!

Although today my health teacher told me she'd bring me Cat Stevens' Foreigner Suite album to borrow, which was nice.

Plus I heard Bishop Allen on the ride to the bus stop this morning in the torrential rain.
They always make me smile.

HAHAHAHA.

So it's never going to be quite the same as elementary school, or even Junior High. And maybe we were all spoiled, going to those schools - but seriously, at least we came away with personalities (which isn't to say that people who went to normal school didn't, it's just that... I don't know... the fact that we weren't hating school in 7th grade says something about us. That the other AP or IB students were fueled by competition whereas we were fueled by a curiosity. They had bragging rights, being in Honors classes and Quest and we didn't...). Which is a little sad - that everything is so competitive these days that no one looks at people, just at their resumes and grades and where they graduated from. And we're expected to keep up with that and still be interesting, active people?

I hate thinking about school so much.

But such is life, I guess...

Before You Open Your Eyes

I keep having nightmares, and I don't know why.

I'm afraid to go to sleep.

Problem

I am unable to leave comments--why?

-S

Away I Go

Today, I wrapped C,J, and A's presents. They should expect them on their porches tommorow (except J, who will receive it either on Tuesday or when I pick up my sis). Oh, and maybe C--I'll try to give it to her sis. So, actually, that's only for sure A.

I got up early today to work on a project for my film class wish required me to watch the same five minutes of Away We Go (which I highly enjoyed) over and over again. This ultimatly resulted in me falling asleep. It's currently 8:28 and I hope to get all of my other homework done tonight as well. This may not happen.

I also had some sweet chili tea (I'd wanted tetley rose tea, but was out, chili is yummy, though) in my new black sheep mug. I got it at the thrift store--they always have such cute mugs. Plus, it was a dollar and I bought it on a purchase with some other stuff so I got three dollars off (the entire order).

My post may end up being like this--short, but a bit more frequent than once a week.

Also, here's A and C setting up the blog:

Loves,

S